Enjoy the video below!
The last thing I needed back in my addiction years was the judgement of others because I was already in a constant state of beating the living shit out of myself. You see, most people with addictions suffer greatly from self-condemnation and it only wires addiction stronger and serves no one.
To all those who think they know the “exact” reasons why someone relapsed, shame on you. The bottom line is that no one knows why some recover and some do not because no one has walked in someone else’s shoes and addiction is all too encompassing.
It is, however, no mystery that the most ill with addictions are some of most traumatized. In fact, most of those living on streets with addiction, have experienced unthinkable past trauma and so who am I to judge, if they can’t find recovery.
Society often forgets that most childhood trauma, before the age of 4 is usually unknowable but their pain is never forgotten in the pain-body. Many also have mental health issues up the kazoo, and I could go on and on. The bottom-line is that some of us are just more hard-wired for addiction than others. However, the experts and I included, believe it’s about pain, and our surest way to heal our suffering is compassion from others.
I also believe we need to change our ideas of what success really is because no two cases are identical. We must get off the bandwagon of clean time as the barometer of success because addiction is a chronic brain disorder that affects the mind body and spirit of everyone differently.
Each person is at a different level of addiction no different than the different levels of cancer. For example, stage one cancer is has a higher success rate of recovery than someone in stage four. In my case, death was a calling over the last ten years of my addiction because I was at stage four. Unfortunately I had to pay a very high price for my seat in recovery, but fortunately, I did the work and remembered who I really was, and I love that person today. I woke up and discovered that indeed “Recovery is the New Cool” and lost all desire to use.
True Compassion / Not Judgement -- is what those who are still in active addiction need the most because compassion is our most effective way to help them see their truth and break the denial. As my mentor as always said, “Paul, I am here to keep reminding you, that LOVE is who you really are; so that one day, you will believe it for yourself.”
So if you know someone who is trying to recover and can only seem to put together a day, week, month clean or goes on methadone or some other hard reduction medication reframe from any judge. Instead, choose to see the LIGHT in them because our compassion and loving kindness is what they really need.
In the height of my addiction, there were only two people who would take my calls, and that was Lorraine and Mom. Everyone else had made a decision to let me go which is understandable because I was constantly relapsing. If it were not for these two beautiful, compassionate, loving souls, I don’t believe I would have made it.
But many paid the ultimate price with their lives; some were my close personal friends. Please let go of judgement because it’s not a moralistic issue or a criminal issue, it’s a health issue. Treat everyone the same because we never know, the newcomer might be our sponsor or save our ass, one day. And our son or daughter or grandchild or a good friend may one day be ill themselves and need our compassion.
Addiction was not a curse, after all, it was a blessing because it made me wake up and discover my true nature of Love, Peace and Joy. Addiction leads me to a higher purpose beyond anything I could have ever imaged, and this book is just one example of the blessings.
People ask me all the time why I wrote a recovery book?
My Answer: I believe that when enough people understand the real truth of addiction, we will witness massive recovery like never seen before. Why? Because when the overall world consciousness changes from judgment to compassion those suffering from addiction will feel safe enough to come out of hiding and ask for help. It was the real motivating for my book, but it must start with each one of us, one consciousness at a time.
SAT NAM ( Truth is my identity)