The research indicates that we have more regrets about what WE DID NOT DO than what WE DID DO. What stops most of us from doing this is FEAR. Living without regret is living from LOVE.
"All addictions and suffering comes out of FEAR and ALL RECOVERY comes out of LOVE."
We must wake up to the great LOVE within to live our best lives, and FEAR is our biggest blocker. Most people are ruled and dominant by fear without them knowing, so their decisions also come from fear.
The first step is awareness, recognizing the fear in our bodies. Without this awareness, we are doomed. Don't beat ourselves up when we recognize we are in fear; say it's okay to have fear – acceptance is the first step, so make friends with it; thanks, old buddy, but I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE.
Compassion and curiosity are always the way to deal with FEAR. Think of Fear as a road sign pointing us back to LOVE. The best acronym for FEAR is false evidence appearing Real. Fear is always about some future that does not exist or some past that we think will happen. It is never about the present MOMENT. So ask yourself, when in FEAR? What time is it? It's Now; it's always NOW!
There are what I call the BIG 4 F's: Fear of Failure – Fear of Rejection, Fear of the Unknown, Fear of Judgement:
Fear of Failure: This fear will keep us from pursuing our dreams, taking risks, and seizing opportunities. Putting us into a state of inaction and stuck in our comfort zones.
Fear of Rejection: This fear will impact all our relationships and professional pursuits. It can prevent us from being authentic, and we will not like that person because we cannot be ourselves out of fear. It's a painful place to live. I like that way for 40 years.
Fear of the Unknown: Everyone has to deal with the UNKNOWN – it's part of being a human, and when we don't deal with it, we stick to the familiar, even when it may not be in our best interest. It will stop us from growing.
Fear of Judgement: What others will think or say about us. It is usually a direct result of our shame about ourselves.
The FOUR F’S mostly come from wounds and trauma. People who had a critical upbringing or had to believe they were not enough to survive their abuse, people with perfectionism, which often comes from codependency, and mental health issues like depression and anxiety. People with big expectations for themselves, which they learned from their parent's expectations.
The answer to living from Love and not FEAR begins when decide to heal our past at the core, which is usually our Childhood Experience.
Sincerely
Paul Noiles