Sometimes, you have to "NOT LISTEN" to what anybody says but to what your insides tell you to do. And then do that!
In the first 40 years of my life, I did the opposite: I followed what others said, and on the inside, I felt fake, dishonest, and fearful of rejection. I was programmed from unhealed trauma. I suffered from profound disconnection and codependency because I felt unlovable and hated myself. Looking back, I can now see that I felt this way from six years old. An environment of stress changes little people, and so I trusted no one and especially not myself.
[Side-Bar: One of the effects of trauma is not trusting our gut instincts because it's too dangerous to our attachment relationships.]
Learning to trust my inner self has been an incredible journey, and today I help others do the same. I am blessed to have gone through all those dark days and become a new man out the other side. It does not mean I don't struggle; it means none of that stuff defines me today. I am free from the false self that kept me unhappy, miserable, and addicted.
𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞.
Every addicted person has trust issues. Its absence leaves us anxious and confused, making it difficult to ask for help, heal our broken hearts, undo the attached shame, and access the One Power of Love, Peace, and Joy.
Our distrust comes from the loss of connection to our authentic selves. In my case, the essential parent-child trust bond was never well established. I became a little boy who believed it must be my fault if something went wrong. I didn't trust myself. I learned to fake trusting others to avoid consequences. This unwillingness to trust became part of my Mistaken Identity and kept me sick with the disease of addiction.
𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭
Before learning trust, I had to continue practicing not trusting myself in early recovery because I still wanted drugs and alcohol. I had to let go, trust others, and seek help.
I eventually learned to trust by becoming aware of when I wasn't trusting. I had to take my hands off the steering wheel and humbly ask the universe and people in recovery to show me a new way to live and heal the little boy within me.
I began to trust myself when I committed to doing the next right thing.
Trust = Love
Trust is the key to a personal relationship with Love (God). We can only know the One Power through a trusting relationship with ourselves.
"Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it." ~ Lolly Daskal
Here I am, what seems like a lifetime ago, and trusting myself is still the most important life-long lesson.
Stop Running from Self – Face It All Paul Noiles
