People who have not done some healing work around their trauma have the most challenging time recognizing their emotions, especially those with childhood trauma. They learn not to trust or acknowledge their feelings and live in their minds from a young age. The disconnection is a coping strategy to stay safe. That was me for a very long time.
"Our safety is crucial to our physical and mental health and happiness." - Stephen Porges and son Seth Porges
Those in active addiction use their behavior or substance of choice because they are chasing pleasure because within them are suppressed painful feelings (trauma) that keep getting reactivated.
The trauma lives within our bodies, ready to be triggered and felt once again. One solution is getting to the roots of our trauma with someone like me who can keep a safe container so we can be with the painful feelings without resistance, or they will likely stay stuck and create what is known as the PAIN-BODY – a term coined by Eckhart Tolle.
[Side-Note: And, of course, other important recovery and awakening work.]
 In other words, we must fully feel our emotions (feelings) to begin to heal our trauma. We cannot LET GO; what we cannot fully LET IN. By fully embracing and allowing ourselves to feel our feelings, we unlock the path to healing. It's like opening a door to a room we've been avoiding for far too long.
 Whether it's grief, shame, fear, anger, sadness, or acknowledging these painful feelings is the first step towards releasing the grip of trauma. It's not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength and resilience.
Especially anger (rage) needs to be expressed healthily so another person can validate our trauma. Then, we must get under the anger because anger is a secondary emotion, and usually, under the anger is sadness and possibly shame.
Feelings are truthful and are about ourselves, and we matter! We don't argue with feelings; we accept and feel them. However, we perceive something in a certain way when there is an emotion.
Perceptions are a mind construct from thoughts: Perceptions must be examined. They include rejected, betrayed, abandoned, unhappy, unworthy, demeaned, dismissed, invalidated, attacked, intruded upon, and even guilt, which is a perception. There are many more.
"We don't respond to what happens; we respond to our perception of what happens. That is what the Buddha said: with our thoughts, we create the world."
Perceptions are usually about somebody else, and our perceptions are often NOT accurate, but we can inquire into the perception. These old stories are what keep us sick. Like the shame-based perception – I am a bad person and deserve to be hit by my DAD or MOM!
Remember, beneath every reactive emotion, a belief comes from perceptions.
In closing, it's okay not to be okay, but taking steps toward feeling better is even better. Let's shatter the cycle of suppressing emotions and embark on this incredible healing
journey together.
Satnam (truth is my identity)
Paul Noiles
