"We spend our childhood wanting to grow up and spend our adulthood trying to undo our childhood." – Paul Noiles.
The problem is that many people never undo their childhood and become a victim of it without the knowledge that this is where most of their most significant life's issues gave birth.
We are all programmed from our early childhood; it's just the way it works. We are open vessels waiting for information to form our identity.
I heard the famous Dr. Bruce Lipton, one of the leaders on reprogramming the subconscious mind, say: "The Jesuit ministers used to brag and would say, "Give us a child till he's seven, and we'll have him for life."
The only difference is that everyone comes from a uniquely different environment growing up, what I call the good, bad and ugly.
The Good: When a child learns healthy attachment (love), feels safe, connected to self - others and life, self-worth, trust, self-compassion, healthy esteem, boundaries and healthy shame.
The Bad: When we live in constant stress and fear from the environment, it creates insecurities, distrust, limiting beliefs, rage, and many other things that will make a life-changing impact on our lives. Stress changes little people, not just for a few days; for many, a lifetime if not undone and healed. It's also important to mention the opposite, what is known as helicopter parents.
The Ugly: The development of toxic shame (feeling not enough, unworthy, unlovable) from trauma (emotional, physical, sexual), humiliation, emotional loss, abandonment, constant rejection from, parents who are incapable of giving love away because they never received it themselves.
I believe every person with an addiction has some trauma, but not every person with trauma will develop an addiction. The biggest calamity is not what happens to us as a child but how we lose a connection to our true essence due to what happens.
I had already lost myself and ready for Addiction at seven years old; I just never found my substance of choice until later in life. I had a very painful mantra - "Love Me -Love Me -Love Me" because I felt worthless and unlovable. I become disconnect from myself, others and life.
Simply put, Addiction is not a choice; it's about pain – that pain that comes from forgetting our Divine essence because we had to survive.
But there is excellent news; we can reconnect and remember our true essence and connection to One Power of Love that resides within all Beings. And lose all desire to self-medicate.
My post makes it so clear why self-compassion and unconditional self-acceptance is so vital to recovery. We must stop fighting with ourselves and finally become our best allies
Finally, I want to say - BE A CHILD’S “SAFE PLACE.”