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Choose Authencity over trying to Fit In or Connect.

Today’s message is incredibly close to my heart. It's about that BIG buzzword- CONNECTION.

Do you experience being alone around others?

For a long time, I believed something was seriously wrong with me because I could be around people and fool them into thinking I was confident, good at communicating, and fun. But inside, I felt afraid and UTTERLY ALONE. I was trying to fit in, to belong. Little did people know that inside, I was dealing with toxic shame, a trauma response, thinking I must be flawed. Back then, I didn't know any better. I lived with imposter syndrome, and addiction was my way to cope with the pain.

Here's the thing—trauma is disconnection from our true selves, so we must first connect with ourselves to form meaningful connections with others. Brene Brown nailed: "Fitting in is the greatest barrier to belonging." Fitting in, he says, "Be like them to be accepted." Belonging says, "This is who I am." Guess what —there's NOTHING wrong with us.

The issue is trauma, disconnection, and fear of not being accepted. And that's a good thing. Because it's happening within us, we have the power to heal, awaken to our magnificence, and find our tribe where we can just be ourselves.

Let's heal and connect, starting with ourselves.

We need to wake up to who we are! Love is our true state of being.

Paul Noiles



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