From 1998 to 2013, I painfully peeled the onion layer by layer to get to know who I was because death doors was a knocking and eventually I arrived at the most honest answer “I AM LOVE.” In the words of Ziggy Marley, "Love is my religion".
It seemed so simple however to experience and know deep within that I am the energy of LOVE had taken me 15 years of self-discovery. Was it all worth it? You bet your sorry ass it was! The awakening took all my desire to use my SOC (substance of choice) but, more importantly, I fell in love with life because the old me had died.
My biggest obstacle to knowing LOVE was the false self (ego). The more I stripped away the mistaken identity, the more the false-self was removed and the more I became aware of my true nature and Oneness with LOVE.
“Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. And between the two my life flows.”Nisargadatta Maharaj
Love is the glue that holds everything together in the world. LOVE is a unified field which appears to be invisible, but it's not. We need to look all-around with our new awakened eyes, and we will feel, witness and know it’s everywhere.
"The world is a sea of LOVE that we all swim in but like a fish, most are unaware until painfully taken out of the water" ~me
In the beginning, my addiction numbed the pain of believing I was unlovable and gave me a false sense of intense love; it's no wonder I attached to it. It was a response to my inability to experience real LOVE. I used my substance of choice to escape the pain of the many false beliefs I held in my subconscious mind. My oldest belief " I am not good enough." was the most significant and most damaging.
Love is what replaced the fake me and the voice of addiction. It happened by finding everything that was blocking me from it. It’s was a hard truth to grasp because I had been so programmed to believe LOVE is something I had to go after, something out there, not something that I was. And so, I spent most of life trying to prove worthiness to everyone thinking they would then love me. I was a beggar because I had no idea that LOVE was not only in me but was who I was.
Now here is the exciting news when I took the courage to let my walls down I opened the door to connecting in a more caring, empathic, intimate way with the ones I loved and with humanity at large. The more vulnerable I became, the more the world accepted me, go figure, and the more I woke up to the Love at an even deeper level.
"The level of love I accept from outside is directly related to the level of love I have for myself on the inside." ~ Kyle Cease
Today I have come to understand deeply in the power of unconditional self-acceptance because without it I would probably be dead and two, any attempts to help others would of be futile, both on an individual and global level because I would be blind.
My passion today is to inspire others by planting seeds of spiritual awakening.