How do we start the process of feeling well when the shit hits the fan? How does one begin to heal when life hits us with some unexpected grief?
We must start where we are at ---ACCEPTANCE!
For me, step one is acceptance, step two is more acceptance and step three is even deeper acceptance. I use to tell myself the reason I had trouble with acceptance was stubbornness. Not true. The real reason I had trouble with acceptance was a brain high jacked by my ego. I had major problems with acceptance because it triggered my shame. The shame of believing I was not good enough. The answer to acceptance was getting to know who I was. It took me a decade to become good at acceptance.
Acceptance is the simplest and most profound wisdom of our times, easier to talk about than to do. I choose to suffer when I do not practice acceptance. Once again confirming that power statement "what we resist will persist". It is our resistance to “what is” that causes us all our suffering and kills our spiritual life.
Keeping things REAL is vital to our letting go of our resistance and so repeat after me:
“It’s Ok to make a mistake; it’s Ok that some people will not like me, it’s OK not to feel good enough. It’s OK to feel like a fake. It’s Ok to feel like I don’t have my shit together. It’s Ok not to be perfect.”
Five years ago I had a huge breakthrough with acceptance. I made the decision I was going to treat myself with compassion and love kindness to the best of my ability no matter what I did or did not do. I was going to hold myself to this higher standard of LOVE that of unconditional self-acceptance. I am going to honour all my feelings even the so-called negative ones to the best of my ability.
You see, my biggest obstacle to non-acceptance was beating the shit out of myself because there can be no other greater resistance to what is then beating the shit out of ourselves and most the time not even knowing it. The thing to remember is that no matter what is happening we all can practice acceptance. We do not need anything outside ourselves for this. Presence is all that is required. Accept and then take the required action.
Acceptance affirmation: "I am going to accept my life just the way it IS." I am not perfect, I make mistakes every single day but this is the reason I am growing. There is beauty in all my imperfections; I just have to step back and look at them as an observer, not a judge. My so-called imperfections are the gifts that I share with others today.”
I will leave you with these two powerful quotes:
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems, TODAY” – pg. 417 AA
“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.’ Eckhart Tolle
Satnam Paul Noiles
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