After a decade of daily journaling (2000- 2010) doing what is called morning pages, I discovered a common theme; “Slow the fuck down Paul!” It was running throughout all my writings and I was completely unaware it was the big reason for most of the unhappiness. The fear that I was unlovable dominated my subconscious existence and so I had to always keep busy.
Slowing down was not an easy feat because like most of us I wanted everything NOW. But on a deeper level, I did not want to slow down because then I would have to face the pain within.
The story I told myself was that I would not be happy until I accomplished my new year’s resolutions or until I had a beautiful girlfriend, career, house, big savings account, great body and had years of recovery. It was a grand list. Of course, that future time never came because I had a false - life sucking - ego - belief system that believed happiness was out there when in fact it’s an inside job.
And so after lots of pain and suffering, I decided to do a complete 180 and look at Life as a marathon, not a sprint. I applied it to all areas of my life, recovery, spiritually, work, gym, the food I eat and my relationships and things got a lot better, go figure. I then began to find balance and could breathe.
I also realized that whenever I did rush things it is usually because "compulsive thinking" had taken me over. Having this type of awareness is essential to letting go of the ego that wants to run the show. Without this awareness, we can never learn to stop and smell the roses and enjoy life. And we will never go within to discover that everything that is good in life comes from the inside out.
Today, I know without a doubt that if I want to enjoy this precious thing called Life over the long haul, I need to learn to slow down because nothing good ever comes from rushing. And by the way, slow down and relax is in total alignment with the law of attraction.
My inability to relax is the result of a brain high jacked by fear and unwillingness to surrender to Truth. Once I became willing and did the spiritual work I naturally learned to slow down and relax.
Relax is just another word for surrender - let go, trust, love -- because if I do not relax there is no experience of I AM. Relaxing does not mean inactivity, but a quiet, peaceful and connected mind/body/spirit.
There is a recovery slogan "Easy does it but do it." which is all about finding the balance.
The goal is not out there, it is inside each one of us, and we cannot know this unless we relax. Let me help you find some balance.
All is well, Paul Noiles