Any attempts to escape from psychological pain will only create more pain. We must stop running from it as Rumi says, "The cure for pain is in the pain."
We have to stop seeking outside ourselves for relief because it's not out there. All outside answers for psychological pain are temporary and delusional; our solution is always within.
It was and still is, the most important life lesson I ever learned, it changed and saved my life.
The answer to addiction and most other issues are facing our psychological pain. It has all the answers.
In the words of Gabor Mate MD, "It's never why the addiction, it's why the pain."
Believing I was not good enough and having no idea who I was; are the main reasons for most of the pain. Feeling unacceptable is the reason I beat the living shit out of myself and the reason I created a big ego. There is nothing as painful as living a fake life because of the constant anxiety (fear) of possibly being caught as a fake. I eventually found cocaine to cover the pain of toxic shame. My choice could have been anything, but for me, nothing fixed the pain like cocaine. I felt a false sense of wholeness in the beginning, but eventually, it became my nightmare.
Everyone is unique when it comes to addiction. Some find drugs, alcohol, food, sex, people, gambling, money, and I could go on.
The bottom line is that nothing is addictive in and of itself. NOTHING. Alcohol does not make someone an alcoholic, cocaine does not make someone a cocaine addict, and casinos do not make someone a gambling addict. We must have a susceptibility to addiction that arises from the constant pain of not liking who we believe we are. It was the cause of my identity crises, the reason I created a mistaken identity to survive the pain I felt within.
Drugs, in short, do not make anyone into an addict, any more than food makes a person into a compulsive eater. There has to be a pre-existing vulnerability. ~ Dr. Gabor Maté
Pain is a feeling, and like any other feeling, it comes and goes, it has nothing to do with who I am! I was hard-wired to believe I was the PAIN from early childhood experiences, and it took years of work to undo the subconscious programming. I, however, knew there was no other way, trust me. I tried every other way.
My best teacher of transcending pain was meditation; it was here that I discovered "I was not the pain" and that could actually sit with it and be OK. It was here I discovered the truth about psychological pain. It was just a bunch of false thoughts that I had come to believe in.
I eventually discovered that psychological pain is nothing more than a meaningful road sign that directed me back onto the road of TRUTH; more specifically, it pointed me back to my true state of being –LOVE. So it was not my enemy after all.
Pain is temporary if we understood it correctly and do the work.
Remember pain and pleasure are one coin that is constantly flipping. We will always have the play of pain and pleasure in our life and if not, you are not a human being. LOL And so nobody's life is entirely free of pain and suffering, and so the final key to dealing with pain was learning to share it with others. It was through connection and bonding that I have experienced the healing LIGHT of compassion and learned to trust life again.
I am a person of long term recovery and will continue to share my light because I learned the truth about PAIN.
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